Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
