My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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