My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
