my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize