at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
