Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
love makes seman taste better
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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