it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
