Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The beer is more important than you right now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
