i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
