Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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