You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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