He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
