i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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