Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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