I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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