hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize