Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
