the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
