ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
