I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
