my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just want nice things and good sex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Randomize
