dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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