apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
