she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Operation Purity has been aborted
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
