Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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