He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
