he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
