Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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