What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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