Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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