Soap is not a condiment
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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