1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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