I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You can't just leave with hair like that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
