weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
