lets start a swedish sibling band together
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
