I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
