after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
