Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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