I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's shark week go big or go home
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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