Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
