so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
