BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
