No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
