I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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