I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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