Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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