wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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