i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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