i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
