I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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