Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
