just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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