I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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