wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
