Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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